i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize