Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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