a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
