I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
