Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
