So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
