READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
