508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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