That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
