ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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