I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
