i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
