man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It's shark week go big or go home
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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