my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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