Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
