MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
It was confusing and full of hummus
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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