but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm like, not good at living.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
