i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
