HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
