A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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