i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I want to have your abortion
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Mom said you looked used
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
