Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
