im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
This is the high leading the old right now
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
