haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
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