Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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