There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
