How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
