why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
