a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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