we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
