Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize