It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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