who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you will always have a special place in my vag
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
