Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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