wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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