Duck Duck Cougar?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
