it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize