Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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