you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize