Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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