All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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