even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
What drink are we having for lunch?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
