Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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