I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
