I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize