I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
