you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
