Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
