the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
