We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
