How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
