lets start a swedish sibling band together
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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