And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
