Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
