No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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