butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
