apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
