I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
