If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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