The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I AM VODKA MAN
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize