I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Randomize
