He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
