I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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