Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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