Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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