you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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