Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
