he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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