Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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